My god, can you believe it?

My god, can you believe it? I have turned into a coder. You know, like, a developer type kind or something. Sure, I’m a real bad one because I have to google everything and I have to save and check, save and check, save and check, to see if I haven’t done anything wrong. But stumbling through all that trial and error, who would’ve guessed it, something is actually emerging.

To be frank, I’m still not sure if I like doing all this stuff or if I just like the idea of doing something so… pure? I mean, who enjoys manipulating a bunch of numbers on a screen to make something else appear on another screen? Then again, there’s something satisfying about manipulating something at its very core. And let’s be honest, code is one of the most fundamental things in our current time. You could argue, if you are brave enough, that society is flourishing because of three things only: oxygen, water and code.

But that opens up a whole new can of worms. Shall we not get into that right now?

Goodbye WordPress, you have been wonderful

Today I’ve decided to leave WordPress for Ghost. After playing around with the idea for a bit, tempted by the incredible speed and performance the Ghost platform offers, I have started moving over all the content on my current website to the new one.

It’s no small task and I am trying to get it done as quickly as possible. After all, each day I wait produces an additional Monologue that needs transferring. In addition, I do have some challenges to overcome regarding my e-commerce solution but I’m happily accepting the challenge. In the process I’m accidentally getting quite handy at html and css as well. Always nice to have an extra skill, I suppose.

Leaving WordPress wasn’t a decision I took lightly because I have over five years of experience on the platform. I’m not super technical but I did learn quite a few things in those five years and most of that knowledge will be useless moving forward. I will miss being able to built stuff easily but I won’t miss the slow and clunky experience WordPress has turned into. The only way is forward. Without further delays.

Little wussy

I can barely move because both of the cats are snuggling up against me and they’re the cutest little things right now. I’m pretty sure one of them is sleeping as well and I don’t want to wake him. Not completely unrelated, typing this is super uncomfortable. The things I do for a 365 project, right? I’m kidding, I am totally doing this for the cats. I’m such a wuss.

Weather doubts

In about ten minutes I need to be outside, riding my bike to meet up with friends. I’m still unsure on what to wear. This time of year is so difficult to dress yourself properly. Some of the times, you get it exactly right. Other times, you are either way too hot or way too cold.

I’m in a T-shirt now and I do need some layering. But will that be a sweater or a shirt? Outside will be pretty cold but I’ll be indoors for most of the evening. Will I then wear my warmer coat or my waterproof one? What will happen tonight? What will the weather-gods bless us with? How high up do they crank the heating in the place I’m going? So many questions and only one way to find out. Just go.

Zoning out

My own hands floating in the air in front of me. Slowly making imaginary shapes on the melodies of the song that’s on repeat. Flat on my back with my sweatshirt only partly on. Couldn’t be bothered to finish the task of putting it on. It doesn’t matter what your question is right now, the answer is no.

It’s full-blown meditation. The repetitive sounds of the piano chords intertwined with preachy words. Just how I like it.I might fall asleep before I see a chance to finish this story. That the situation on my end right now. I hope you’re doing just as well or preferably even better. Time to make and end to this. Eyes closed, mentally processing the day, zoning out.

Frameworks, am I right?

Frameworks, am I right? So enabling once you have one that you’re satisfied with. The past few years (yes, years!), have turned out to be a search for proper frameworks. Structures that allow for seamless creation and sharing. Two things I have learned to be very important for my mental and physical well-being.

A proper framework gives you direction and guidance when you need it while mostly staying out of the way. It needs to be frictionless at all times. Knowing this, I’ve been going back and forth between several tools and media that allow me to be expressive as much as possible while remaining nimble and untethered as well. Sometimes it felt like enhancing the process just for the sake of enhancing the process. Lost in the web of process optimization, forgetting to actually create something. I know I’ve made myself guilty of it.

I’m steadily working towards my ultimate setup though. My perfect Stack, in proper tech terms. And on that note, it’s time to bring an end to the nerdiness.

A sense of accomplishment would be nice

Eeeeeendleeeessss tinkering. Finishing nothing. It’s one of those days again. It’s okay, it’s okay. Things will all find their place eventually. The day they don’t has yet to happen. Still I find these days unpleasant in that they leave me with an uneasy feeling of restlessness. The lack of accomplishments is messing with my physiological wellbeing.

The best remedy is to let things rest and pick them back up later. Perhaps even tomorrow. Anything but right now is fine. I know this but rarely listen to that advice. Hopefully today will be break that cycle. Let’s post this story and shut down the computer.

The books on the shelf

The books on the shelf, will I ever read them? I pick one up and flick through the pages. I start reading somewhere in the middle of a paragraph. It’s an interesting story but it doesn’t make much sense. I should start reading from the beginning. Like a normal person. I flick back until I reach the first words on the first page. Only to close the book again.

I pick up another book. A gorgeous, high-quality object. Touching the paper is a joy in itself. The images have a very fine but noticeable texture that makes you want to run your finger across them in the hopes that you can feel the scene. Around it are beautiful words I’m sure, though they’re nothing but abstract shapes to me. The font mesmerises me but the combination of the letters hold no meaning. Back to the shelf it is.

I pick up the magazine that has been laying around opened on my desk for weeks now. Trying to finish reading the article I started lord knows how long ago. All I can bring myself to do is look at the images again. Grainy black and whites of a band many people know the name of but I can’t remember without looking it up. And even when I would, there is no way I can name one song they’ve made. That doesn’t motivate to read at all, doesn’t it? Back to the corner of the desk it is.

I am all here for it

The fall is here and so am I: all here for it. Sure, going on walks will be a little more challenging. We’ll need to plan a little around the heavy downpours. Though bad weather does make for great photos at times as well.

Which is to say: I’m mostly happy about returning to black and white imagery again. Those work fine in sunny times too, of course they do, but they shine especially on those grey, grim days. Or maybe, and this might be even more true, color photos don’t work as nicely on those cloud-covered, 51st parallel north-darkness filled days.

Ah well, who cares about that stuff anyway?! It’s all about going out, being present and enjoying everything the earth is throwing at us!

Coffee and vintage Drake to maintain the vibes

A last cup of coffee, vintage Drake playing from the Sonos Beam and a final brush through my ever-growing hair. Yesterday was a day full of hype and energy, which means I’m all out for today. Except for this one tiny bit I reserved for tonight. My first time in Carré, my first time seeing Nick Cave live. The first time I’m seeing a concert post-pandemic. The sun shines, so let’s grab a pair of shades and get myself back to the capital city. This is exactly my type of vibe.

Exciting times

Coming to you from the morning of a big shoot day, I’m writing to you now because experience tells me it won’t be possible later today. Have you read the stories I’ve written while in a busy environment? You probably can pick them out of a line. That’s not to say this particular entry will be any better. In fact, the day has barely started so what is there for me to talk about?

All I can say right now is: I’m excited to head out. I’m excited to point my camera at something significant. I’m excited to be part of something. I’m excited for everybody else’s (presumable) excitement. I guess I better get going. Exciting!

I’m not feeling it today and I’m happy I don’t

I’m not feeling it today. I’m not in a productive mood at all. Or, I should say, not in the mood to create. That’s the same thing, isn’t it?

Anyway, that’s not to say this is a bad thing. On the contrary! I noticed I felt great joy pushing everything on my to do list to a later time. I have the time, why not use it? Lessons I’m learning as I go. It certainly beats my usual tendency of doing everything I possibly can today in the hopes that I can relax tomorrow but then finding more stuff to do again tomorrow — pushing myself into an endless loop of apparent productivity, which never lets me take a moment off.

*takes deep breath*

Aaaanyway… I’ve blocked off tomorrow afternoon to continue walking the entirety of the Grebbeline. It’s been a while and I kinda can’t wait to get back out there again. Fingers crossed the afternoon is sunny as the predictions.

Monologue, more like, public diary, amirite?

This thing has been turning more and more into a public diary hasn’t it? Yeah, I noticed it too. It’s no biggie though, I just focus my energy on crafting better sentences, while structuring them in a more cohesive way. There were never many readers for these Monologues to begin with and I understand if those last few now dropped off too. It’s fine, it’s fine, I won’t take it personal.

In other news, I have turned down three(!) job-offerings this week! Two of them on today only. I’m so proud. My agenda is still crispy clean and my to do’s only contain my own. A-ma-zing.

Sigh

Sigh. Today wasn’t much better than yesterday. There were no additional falls and no more cuts in fingers (knock on wood)but I didn’t feel like myself either. A small but ever-present headache and sore muscles prevented me from properly focusing. Without going into too much detail, adding this to some already present physical complaints, I finally relented and called the doctor’s office. It’s time to get these things fixed professionally.

None of my issues are serious but all of them are uncomfortable enough on their own. The combination of it all makes for a tiring whole. I’m usually not one to complain but I’ve been feeling a little out of it because of this. The effects of the vacation have sadly worn off more rapid than I hoped they would.

Nevertheless, let’s end this on a positive note. My schedule is freeing up for personal plans rapidly. Finally. Now it’s up to me to maintain this freedom. In any case, I take all the above as proof that I’m heading in the right direction as I believe most of my scatter-brain stems from having to busy myself with the wrong things anyway. No more! From here on out it’s two things only: De Ontluiking and Long Walks (capital L, capital W) to photograph and write about.

One of those days, I guess?

Last client shoot today! Exciting.
The sun shines lovely warm bright rays. Lovely.
A bike ride home after the shoot. Relaxing.
I make a mistake when driving up to my house and smack my head into the concrete. Startling!
I’m ashamed and want to get up immediately but I’m seeing stars. Worrying…
After collecting myself, Charlotte patches me up again. Sweet.
I quietly retreat to the smalles and safest corner of the house. Defeated.
I cook dinner and cut my finger. Unfortunate.
It’s just the nail so there’s no blood. Thankfully.
Time for bed. Finally.

Not enough time in a day

Not enough time in a day. Not in this day. Or rather, just enough time in a day. Though not enough to write this story. Which can mean a multitude of things: I either slack and don’t write anything (not an option), or I write some meta-level story about how there is not enough time in a day. This day specifically. I think I’ll choose that a second option. Which, I guess, means there is just enough time in a day.