I’m mad

I’m mad.

I’m mad because our roof started leaking again. Despite having been worked on for two times already, mere months ago.

I’m mad the wallpaper is now letting go and it’s a PITA to get the damages fixed.

I’m mad the internet at home started to become unreliable at best for no apparent reason at all.

I’m mad my photos are being used without my consent and that I should be satisfied with a photo-credit.

I’m mad I haven’t been able to live by my own schedule as much as I want to. It’s always something or somebody demanding my presence or attention.

I’m mad that all this is so draining that I haven’t found the energy or the will to workout at least three times a week.

Now I’m mad I feel unfit and I’m mad that it strengthens my dissatisfaction about all the other things I’m mad about as well.1

Anyway…

That was a relief.

I guess I’m also thankful that I even have a roof to worry about.

I’m thankful I have internet to moan about. What would we still do without it? This blog wouldn’t exist, that’s for sure.

I’m also thankful my photos are good enough to steal. Perhaps it’s even flattering? I don’t know, I’m still not thrilled about the way that transpired.

All the other stuff I’m not necessarily thankful for but I’m working on improving it. Well then that’s enough of the negativity. I promise I won’t make a habit out of it but i kinda grew tired of having to keep these updates positive all the time. I just wanted to complain today.

At least now I’m not mad anymore.


  1. At least that’s one thing getting stronger am I right? ↩︎

I worked on a Sunday and I don’t regret it.

Wake up in the morning and watch some YBS Youngbloods on YouTube to get my lust for adventure going. Eat the burger I didn’t finish last night for breakfast. Drink another cup of coffee to make sure I’m properly awake. That’s all the energy I need for my afternoon activities.

The clock shows a little past 12 as I take my last sips from the coffee and head for the shower. I pick out an airy attire to make sure I’m comfortable later. I thoroughly pet both of the cats on the head and I head out.

After I equip my bike with my newly acquired frame bag and fill the thing up with cameras1, I ride a solid 3,5 hours while taking photos along the way. I take so many photos. Which also means the ride was slow, though steady. As I’ve said before, the goal is always to go far and not fast. I’m not quite sure of my afternoon matches my expectations but I do have a photo or two I’m ecstatic about. That already makes the efforts worth it for me.

What more can I say? Things won’t happen because you planned them. They happen because you allow them. As long as you head out and find something to do, life will unfold itself. I have some more thinking to do but this is the general tendency I’m rolling with for now.

Hasta mañana muchachos.


  1. Thats, two cameras and a sizable bottle for rehydration. ↩︎

Petrichor

The smell outside is amazing. It’s unbelievable what a good thunderstorm can do after a couple of hot summer days. The air is filled with flowery scents, though stripped from pollen. The sun, still strong because of the impending summer solstice, pierces through the raindrop-covered canopies and releases a warm blanked that’s covering the surroundings.

The smell is amazing.

Bad news and two random thoughts

Bad news: The social apps are back on the phone. How’s that for a character arch. How long has it been? Two days? Maybe three? I don’t know I’m too lazy to check right now.

Random thought 1: You know it’s hot when the mirror doesn’t fog up after taking a shower.

Random thought 2: I think I’m the best at what I do. I also think everybody else is better than I am. Now I don’t know how to behave myself. Am I a teacher or a student? Maybe both?

By the water and back

By the water, across from my home, I sit down and look around. My camera dormantly slung around my torso. A solid 30 degrees Celsius scorch my unprotected skin and the first signs of thirst start to emerge. I look at my camera and think about the new JPEG settings I wanted to test. I then look up at the harsh sunlight and the scooters wizzing by and reconsider.

Why did I leave the house in the first place?

Not so much to take photos, I’m pretty sure about that. Perhaps to escape the safe confinement of my apartment. Maybe even more to connect with the outside world. Probably a combination of those. Just a quick walk around the block, following the river up to the next bridge. That would be all.

Now that the bridge is in sight, I’m not sure I want to return home yet. Though, admittedly, the heat is a lot to bare. I don’t know, perhaps I’m overthinking this whole thing again. I should just shoot some photos and see how those JPEG settings look. That’s what I wanted to do, right?

A premature recap of lessons learned so far

I thought about waiting to write a recap of my experiences producing these Monologues until I reach 200 days but the truth is, I don’t want to wait another 33 days to do that. So here we are, at day 167 of my 365 project for 2021. Penning down some thoughts I have about the process so far.

I’m not sure where I want to go with this so let’s just begin.

I noticed a trend where I start most of my entries with ‘I’, which I’m now trying to avoid whenever I can.1 It’s not so much that I don’t want to write about myself but I also don’t want to be egocentric doing it. It’s a little difficult to describe but the word ‘I’ has started to become a pain point for me that I prefer to circumvent.2 Perhaps my next point can help further illustrate the sentiment.

I’m still looking for my voice as a writer. Daily writing has certainly helped training to write more quickly and intently. The tone of voice has been inconsistent to say the least though. Obviously this is part of the whole point of this project anyway so I’m not mad about it. I’m just not quite done experimenting with different perspectives and angles. This also pertains to my usage of the word ‘I’ so much and perhaps I’ll find more elaborate ways to share personal stories in the future. It’s very much a work in progress.

Talking about work in progress, having a project like this really helps push my creativity. Most days are still pretty uneventful but this project forces me to find the notable in the boring. It’s a good exercise and I cherish that process very much.

Tapping in to that previous point, and perhaps slightly contradicting it, the seemingly uneventful days will turn out to be precious memories someday, I’m sure. Even when nothing happens, so many things happen. It’s a good thing to keep record of those. Even when there’s no immediate point to it.

Finally, I’m absolutely amazed with the things I come up with everyday. It’s a struggle to write anything sometimes but I manage everyday again and again. I surprise myself quite a lot. I’m not sure what my point with that is. I’m not looking for a pat on the shoulder, though I do like to give myself one at this moment. Good job kid. Let’s see what you come up with tomorrow.


  1. Fully realizing this is exactly how the current entry started. ↩︎

  2. Though, looking at the paragraph just written, I don’t think there could be any more I’s in there. ↩︎

Staring in the distance instead of a screen

That’s it, the social apps are gone from my phone. At least for now. I’m not necessarily opposed to the social networks but I notice my mind wandering more often than not these days and I don’t want to be drawn to these apps every time that happens. I’ve gotten rid of Instagram a couple of times now but Twitter has been with me from the start. It has never left my home screen since I installed it over 10 years(!) ago. That streak is ending today.

Instead, I’ll place my favorite writing app in the spot where Twitter used to be1 and see if that pushes me to write more tidbits here. I’m sure my muscle memory will involuntarily make me open the app. Perhaps I can put that energy to good use. We’ll see what happens.

I mostly use these social media apps to look around and rarely post anyway. Especially Twitter has become my main source of information but perhaps I’ll need some more quality sources that don’t have that much noise as well. My God, the noise of Twitter has become almost unbearable to me. It makes my mind scattered and unnecessarily clouded. I really want to connect with my immediate surroundings again.

Now this is not to say I feel superior in any way by doing this. Heck, I don’t think anybody cares that much even. I just like to have a registration of this divisive moment2. I’ll read blog posts, view photo essays, produce blog posts and photo essays, instead of all that other fleeting stuff. The ultimate goal is to train my mind to produce more cohesive, long form ideas and products. And when I don’t have anything of value to share, it’s fine to stare into the distance for a bit as well.


  1. The first slot in my dock. ↩︎

  2. My hope is it will, indeed, be divisive. ↩︎

An underwhelming recap

Right, so that recap from yesterday I sort of promised. Well, it was the official open day of the new office units I am taking part in so we’ve all gathered for drinks and BBQ. What can I say, we hung out in the sun and it was lovely. It’s probably not the recap you expected but I guess this is what it is. Nothing more nothing less.

I did shoot a bunch of photos and videos during the day that I’ll take a look at later this week. Whenever I feel like it again.

For now, I’m recharging the introvert in me by hanging around the house all day speaking to nobody and taking catnaps on the couch with the cats. I’m not the best at taking it slow but on days like these, I try to make the most of it.

Sleep tight, sleep tight.

I’m sleepy

I thought about it for a minute on the ride back home and I know the answer. I’ve burned through my extraversion these past few days. I need a good night sleep and I’ll be good for interpersonal contact again tomorrow. For now though, I’m just a little tired.

Endless Cycle to Utrecht, train back home?

I’m about to set off on a bike ride to Utrecht. It’s about 24K from my home, which takes about 1,5 hours according to Maps. I am not in a rush and plan to shoot a Do You Register on the way so I think 1,5 hours sounds fine.

I’m all prepared (I think) so let’s hit play on Endless Cycle and see how this ride feels.

(…)

Okay so I arrived! It took 1 hour and 7 minutes, including a pause to shoot that movie and a quick detour to peek across the plains of the old Soesterberg Airport1. Anyway, I’m already one beer deep so perhaps I’ll just take the train back home. We’ll see, we’ll see.

Oh, I shot one photo:


  1. I also forgot to turn off my Strava session but let’s not be picky now. ↩︎

We’re going to Spain. But not yet.

Just booked a flight to Spain for the 20th of September. An actual flight. Can you believe it? Fingers crossed we’ll be able to go there in a world that’s somewhat normal. It’s still a few months from now. Who knows?

Fingers crossed.
Fingers crossed.

In other news, did I mention I grabbed the domain name ontluiking.nl? Didn’t I? Ah, well you can take a quick look to get a glimpse of what’s (hopefully) yet to come. It’s filled with dummy text and photos but there’s a general layout. A sneak peak of the thing that’s been bubbling for months now.

Yes, I know I’m being very vague but I can only go into depth when there is something more to share than vague ideas. I’ll probably shouldn’t be sharing this with y’all at all but I just can’t contain my excitement.

Okay okay, where were we? Ah Viewfinder Magazine. Let’s get back to it. See you tomorrow folks.

What do you do when you realize that none of it really matters?

What do you do when you realize that none of it really matters and the whole point is simply to enjoy yourself? What do you do when the sun continues to bless you with rays of warmth and happiness?

I guess you can do a multitude of things.

We specifically decided to spread our beds (read: towels) next to the water and read a book. Or at least give it a try. It didn’t take long before we were surrounded by groups of teenagers having the same idea as we had. Though they didn’t plan on reading any books (they were loud). Since my book of choice was one I once had to read for my psychology studies (which means it’s rather complicated and you need to keep your focus), I could only make it through a couple of pages. A vague memorie exists where I enjoyed reading the book, despite it being on a timer since I had other courses at the time as well. I thought it’d be fun to read the book on my own pace and with a few more years of experience under my belt. See what I think of it now.

Oh shit wait, the cats knocked something over…

Ah man, I left my glass of water unguarded for one minute to write this story and they knocked it down from the cabinet. Water everywhere and two pairs of guilty looking eyes staring at me. I guess I’ll better get back to the living room to keep an eye on my next glass. I’m talked out for today and none of it really matters anyway.

My earliest impressions of the Pergear 35mm F1.6

Okay so here we are. My first impressions of the Pergear 35mm F1.6. A lens I bought from Amazon for the insanely cheap price of 70(!) euros. There isn’t much else out there for your Fujifilm X-system that costs you less money.

While researching the lens online, I couldn’t find much out there that talks about the lens in depth so I’m considering writing a proper long-term review. It’s too soon for that now though so here are a few of my earliest impressions and thoughts:

  • It’s heavier than my 18mm f2 but also smaller
  • It’s also heavier than my XF35mm f2
  • The front element is very… spherical. Especially for a 35mm lens.
  • It focuses past infinity.

None of these observations are dealbreakers and perhaps some of them, like the weight, are actually a benefit? I’m not sure. It sure causes the lens to feel more premium in your hands.
The curvature of the front element was surprising as that’s mostly something you see with wide-angle lenses. The lens is so tiny though, I think Pergear couldn’t get around this almost circular front element to allow for a 35mm field of view. It’s a small miracle you don’t see the effects of that in the form of heavy distortion!
Finally, focussing past infinity is a lesser issue to me than not being able to achieve infinity at all.

Here are a few random shots I’ve taken in the one day I’ve had the lens in my possession:

50 words 1 sentence

I wanted to write about something today but I can’t because the thing that prerequisited the intent to write that thing only happened late in the day, therefore my thoughts weren’t granted the blessing of maturity at the time of this writing which means I’ll get back to you tomorrow.

An energy rollercoaster

I woke up this morning feeling rested for the first time this week. Perhaps it was the sudden heat we got to experience (and enjoy!) but my quality of sleep had been severely lacking. This morning though, I felt the clarity of mind that I’ve been searching for all week.

This sadly didn’t benefit my energy levels at all that afternoon. I could hardly keep my eyes open enough to stare out the window to the sunshine.

Thankfully (thankfully!) The moment my feet touched my bicycle pedals to ride home, I felt something. A resurgence of earlier moods. A deflection of the mind fog that had gained control of me up until then. My evening was lovely. As a matter of fact, it still is.

Now I’m out here on my balcony with my two cats, watching the rain roll into the city. Drinking a rose wine I got on a promotion that’s surprisingly well rounded. Blasting my favorite playlist. What more can I ask for?

The first hands on a new project

So eum… Viewfinder Magazine? Yeah I started working on it today. Here are the rules:

  • 13x20cm trade book
  • 24 pages (the minimum)
  • Go as crazy as possible with the page design
  • Just a few intro words. No large essays.
  • Keep it as cheap as possible
  • Give it away for free to whomever wants it

It’ll be a while before it’s finished though. I need to place testing orders which take time as well. In the meantime, I’ll be talking endlessly about One Two One so people know it’s real.

The amazing thing that is Poolside FM

I switched out my contactlenses for a fresh pair and it has been absolute bliss all day. Perhaps that’s why I could hardly keep my eyes open yesterday. But that’s not what I want to talk about right now.

In fact, I don’t have much at all to talk about.

except this one thing…

Are you guys familiar with Poolside FM? If you’re not, I urge you to take a look at it at your earliest convenience. Go ahead and do it right now, I’ll wait.

The first time it came across my radar, was a few years ago but I didn’t pay it many minds at that time. Sure, the design stands out immediately and the way it approaches user experience is interesting, to say the least. I didn’t see a need for it back then though.

This morning that changed as myself and the app crossed paths again and this time, oh boy this time, I couldn’t bring myself to close it after starting. At the start of the year I said Cocktail Hour on Sonos radio is always a solid vibe to tune into. This is the same, but then with a little dose of retro-throwback-hipsterism that I’m a true sucka for. I downloaded the app and I listened to it all day.

Maybe, if you’re up for it, you can try the same tomorrow. See what it does for your mood. It certainly benefited mine.

Want a 🍪? Nothing to see here, please continue.