348 | 4 AM

Mitchel Lensink
Dec 14, 2021
2 min read

It’s 4 in the morning and I’m tired. Yawning constantly with burning eyes that want to be closed but also unable to sleep. I tried simply laying there with my eyes closed — idling to the point where my body would have no choice but to sleep. My mind was not giving into that trick though and kept coming up with new thoughts. I realized I might still have to process the events from the past days. Not that anything particularly special has happened, I just sense that the processing you do in your deepest state of sleep hasn’t quite happened yet.

So here I am, up at 4 AM, catching up on reading Craig Mod’s Tiny Barber, Post Office pop-up newsletter and writing these words — all while sipping on the sweetest tea I could make myself. It helps a little with calming down the flow of thoughts but at the same time I’m feeling a little frustrated with the lack of sleep I’m getting. I’d happily trade this moment for a good night’s rest, despite enjoying the moment to myself as well.

I planned on going into the office again tomorrow but I’m having second thoughts about that now. It seems more productive to sleep as much as I can and crawl behind the computer straight from bed instead of having to prepare for outside life. That gives me another hour of sleep which sort of makes up for the two hours I’m loosing now. I usually surprise myself with these dilemmas and end up doing ‘the right thing’ instead of ‘the easy thing’ but we’ll see what happens come morning.

For now, I finished my cup of tea while writing this story so I guess it’s best to return to bed and try to trick my body into sleeping mode again.

Hello from the other side of a restless night and a consequently tiring morning of office work. Eventually I did end up doing 'the easy thing' for a change and worked from home to make things a little easier for myself and I am happy with that decision. The added strain on my brain of social interaction was not for me today. I'm pretty much at my limit for now. Though I'm sure that will change soon. You know what, I'll make sure to clean the house, take a shower and go for a short walk. That'll do me good.

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