Monologue

Vaccinated and liberated. My heart is hopeful. Now I’m sitting out my mandatory 15 minute waiting time, writing this story. Alternated by just staring into the distance. Dreaming about the possibilities. It won’t be long before life wil unfold itself. I know it’s not a certainty, but I remain positive. Though not for COVID. Not me.

So many things. Emails keep stacking up. Reading that still needs to be done. Or rather, wants to be done. Nothing ever must be done, there’s always a choice. The option to not do things is always there. Still, there are so many things that can be done. It’s a little hard to not feel an obligation to do them all. Not because I must, but more so because I want to. So many things. Do they make sense? These things? Do they strengthen each other? Are they supporting a greater cause? Or do I scatte

Today is about compartmentalization. And how bad and good I am at it at the same time. You see, I generally try to keep my evenings as uneventful as possible. I need to do this to guarantee my quality of sleep. Otherwise I just can’t turn down the energy before it’s time to rest. My head keeps going with thoughts and digesting my day. In case this isn’t clear, this is an example of bad compartmentalization. I can’t always keep these different mental processes separated. On the other hand, it’s

As I was scrolling through my Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/mitchellens.ink/] this afternoon, my eye fell on a caption [https://www.instagram.com/p/CBJEPPfnVdB/] I wrote a little over a year ago. June 7, 2020 “I am just trying to show some range. Sure, I can shoot your editorials or studio shots. Maybe, just maybe, I want to retire all that and just do some street work for a while. Currently I am working on a project that’s a little different as well as an elevation of my past work. At

Despite my website being generally done for the most part, there are always little bits and pieces that can be improved and expanded. Most of the ideas for these things I’m stealing from other people but I don’t think there’s no harm in that. I came across this idea by Brian Lovin, who keeps a personal changelog [https://changelog.brianlovin.com]. It’s a timeline of his biggest accomplishments and other things of significance he’s done and I really liked that idea. It’s a little more expansive

Ha, can you believe it? I totally forgot to write a story yesterday. Well, not so much forgot to write one, but I sure didn’t come through before midnight. I guess the magic of internet scheduling saved me on that one. I mean, I technically,totally, remembered it during the day but I guess there’s no way to prove it. Do I need to prove anything though? I don’t think so. These stories are for my personal development and the commitment still stands. If you ask me, I haven’t broken the streak jus

Oh man, I can’t believe it. I forgot to write something today (yesterday?). I’m not sure how to approach this now. I’m still awake so I will let this one count as well. I apologize to my past self for not sticking to my promise for the full 100%. Though, to be completely honest, I think this qualifies perfectly fine as well. I don’t have anything significant to share so I guess there’s no real loss here. You know what. I will manually set the upload time of this story to 23:59. I’m sure nobody

I’ve been really putting myself through the motions lately.1 I promised myself I would get a day off today. A day for myself to sit and digest the latest of occurrences. Especially after the full day I had yesterday. It was a wonderful prospect to have. Despite that, this morning I found myself packing my cameras again. So here I go again; riding the winds of change after work. Hunting for the shot that gives me that feeling. That fulfilling feeling of accomplishment when I can say “yes, I most

Peep this, I managed to plan all my appointments this week into one single day. This day. That’s a good thing, in case that isn’t clear! It takes some effort for an introvert to go out and be sociable1 and grouping that effort together is a perfect way to deal with that. An added benefit is that I can allow myself to do nothing else besides these meetings. Another benefit is that I can work distraction free for the rest of the week. Everything is perfect. What I also like to mention is that

Internet: fixed. But let’s see how things are in a few days. Leaking roof: contractors called, again. Things should be taken care of soon. Hopefully before the rain starts pouring down again. The walls can take so much water. Aching back: working on it. I finally called the physician and they had room for me on Thursday. I don’t know why I always wait so long to do these things. Other physical unfitness complaints: also work in progress. I got on my bike to ride to the water this afternoon a

I’m mad. I’m mad because our roof started leaking again. Despite having been worked on for two times already, mere months ago. I’m mad the wallpaper is now letting go and it’s a PITA to get the damages fixed. I’m mad the internet at home started to become unreliable at best for no apparent reason at all. I’m mad my photos are being used without my consent and that I should be satisfied with a photo-credit. I’m mad I haven’t been able to live by my own schedule as much as I want to. It’s alw

Wake up in the morning and watch some YBS Youngbloods on YouTube [https://youtube.com/c/Youngbloods] to get my lust for adventure going. Eat the burger I didn’t finish last night for breakfast. Drink another cup of coffee to make sure I’m properly awake. That’s all the energy I need for my afternoon activities. The clock shows a little past 12 as I take my last sips from the coffee and head for the shower. I pick out an airy attire to make sure I’m comfortable later. I thoroughly pet both of th

Go to bed at 04:00. Wake up at 09:00. Fall asleep again at 10:50. Wake up again at 13:45. Do nothing until 17:00. Have a beer on the terrace until 21:00. Order burgers from said terrace and rush home. Almost fall asleep on the couch while writing this at 22:17.

The smell outside is amazing. It’s unbelievable what a good thunderstorm can do after a couple of hot summer days. The air is filled with flowery scents, though stripped from pollen. The sun, still strong because of the impending summer solstice, pierces through the raindrop-covered canopies and releases a warm blanked that’s covering the surroundings. The smell is amazing.

Bad news: The social apps are back on the phone. How’s that for a character arch. How long has it been? Two days? Maybe three? I don’t know I’m too lazy to check right now. Random thought 1: You know it’s hot when the mirror doesn’t fog up after taking a shower. Random thought 2: I think I’m the best at what I do. I also think everybody else is better than I am. Now I don’t know how to behave myself. Am I a teacher or a student? Maybe both?

By the water, across from my home, I sit down and look around. My camera dormantly slung around my torso. A solid 30 degrees Celsius scorch my unprotected skin and the first signs of thirst start to emerge. I look at my camera and think about the new JPEG settings I wanted to test. I then look up at the harsh sunlight and the scooters wizzing by and reconsider. Why did I leave the house in the first place? Not so much to take photos, I’m pretty sure about that. Perhaps to escape the safe confi

I thought about waiting to write a recap of my experiences producing these Monologues until I reach 200 days but the truth is, I don’t want to wait another 33 days to do that. So here we are, at day 166 of my 365 project for 2021. Penning down some thoughts I have about the process so far. I’m not sure where I want to go with this so let’s just begin. I noticed a trend where I start most of my entries with ‘I’, which I’m now trying to avoid whenever I can.1 It’s not so much that I don’t want t

That’s it, the social apps are gone from my phone. At least for now. I’m not necessarily opposed to the social networks but I notice my mind wandering more often than not these days and I don’t want to be drawn to these apps every time that happens. I’ve gotten rid of Instagram a couple of times now but Twitter has been with me from the start. It has never left my home screen since I installed it over 10 years(!) ago. That streak is ending today. Instead, I’ll place my favorite writing app [htt