Monologue (365 Project)

365 | I completed one year of daily writing. This is what I learned

Well then, this year flew by, hasn’t it? I can’t believe it has been 365 days of daily writing already. I also can’t believe I made it! Exactly one year ago today, I decided on a whim that a 365 project to improve my writing skills would be a good idea.

364 | My anti-goals for 2022

In addition to my list of goals for next year, here’s also a list of things I don’t want to do. My anti-goals, if you will. I'll keep it (way) short(er) than I did yesterday, as I don't feel the need to go into detail for every single point. I also suspect the list being much longer. Here it goes, off the top. I don't want to: * do client work * spend most of my time behind a computer * participate in meaningless discussions * be near meaningless discussions * doubt myself as much * loo

363 | My goals for 2022

A few days ago [https://mitchellens.ink/quick-vibe-check/], I looked back on how many of my goals for 2021 I ended up reaching. The unsurprising answer was, not many of them. I say it was unsurprising because, as the year progressed, I slowly realized that many of the goals I had set for myself were not the things I should be focusing on. Or, stated more plainly, I set the wrong goals for myself. Let’s dive in. Why did I set the wrong goals An important realization was that most of my goals for

362 | GTA V speedruns are therapeutic

After four days straight of Christmas celebrations, watching a 6 hour GTA V speed run was exactly the type of passive entertainment I needed. Now it’s 10PM and I’m ripe for bed.

361 | Last things remaining

Just to be clear: I am working on one final piece about my goals for next year, as well as a final round up of what I’ve learned from a year of daily writing. I’ll try to aggregate some stats on the final word count and such as well. Though it’s probably better to share those numbers after the project has finished. For now though, I’m sort of void of deeper thoughts as I’m cruising towards the new year. Nevertheless, see you tomorrow!

360 | The second day of Christmas

The second day of Christmas is the perfect moment to create a blend of watching silly YouTube videos, Bridget Jones’ Baby (don’t tell anybody but I really like that movie) and eating home cooked Indonesian food with the fam. Then watching Bohemian Rhapsody. Then typing this story while my eyes are slowly starting to close. Time for bed.

359 | Merry Christmas to myself

Merry Christmas to myself. But also to some other people. You know who you are.

358 | Merry doing nothing for a few days

It’s the day before Christmas, or the day of Christmas Eve if you will, and I needn’t have bothered to show up to work today. I’m a little too tired to do any (work, that is) and a little too focussed on doing nothing at all for a few days. So if you don’t mind, you can find me in bed with a book and otherwise at some Christmas gathering with the fam. Happy holidays.

357 | De Ontluiking has its own place on the web now

YES! Not much to share today except for ONTLUIKING.NL being LIVE! It’s a work in progress, it always will be, but de Ontluiking has its own place on the web now. As a side note, that also means that my personal website has now officially moved from Wordpress to Ghost as well! Thanks Wordpress, you have been lovely, but Ghost is the future. That means less tinkering with how things should look (it’s not as flexible as Wordpress, which is good!) and more focus on words and images. Anyway, go rea

356 | I'm nervous because the end is near

I'm nervous. The end of the year is near. That means I feel like I'm running out of time again. As if I have to get everything done before the year comes to an end. It's a fool's thought — after the last day of this year there will simply be a first day of the next year. It's all semantics. A day is a day and another one will always come. Until it doesn't, of course, but in that event none of this will matter much anyway. Some updates: the redesign of Ontluiking.nl is taking shape nicely. We're

355 | Echoes of silence

It’s December 21, 2021 and that are only ten more days left in this project. Can you believe I’ve done 355 days of consecutive writing already? I certainly have a hard time believing that to be true. On the one hand, I feel like I should end the year with some grand elaborate essay about the things I’ve learned and the direction I plan to take in the future. At least that’s what I envisioned at the start of the project what I would do about now. I don’t feel like doing that though. I dunno, it’

354 | Movie night with myself

For a long time, I’ve wanted to watch The Equalizer. Not the 1980 or 2021 TV series, but the 2014 film starring Denzel Washington. There’s no particular reason I wanted to watch this movie, other than Denzel being the lead character. I always like Denzel Washington movies. But somehow I never bothered to actually watch the movie. That has changed now and I am really happy I did. This is exactly my type of movie. So if you don’t mind, I’ll be watching The Equalizer 2, from 2018, in immediate suc

353 | Knowledge, bliss and questions about them

If knowledge is power and ignorance is bliss, is being powerless then also blissful? Because it appears power and blissfulness are mutually exclusive. But does that then also mean that the knowledgable, by way of having power, are inherently miserable? Maybe I'm missing something here.

352 | mitchellensink.com

I bought the .com domain for my ‘firstnamelastname’ today and I can’t believe it was still free as well as I can't believe that I haven’t done this before. It feels good to be the only Mitchel Lensink in the world that now has access to that domain. It does feel a little wasteful to simply redirect it to my mitchellens.ink domain but I really like that domain name and there is no way I'm switching. The potential SEO juices aren't that important for me anyway. So anyway, that was today.

351 | I deserve to sit down now

Yes! That 10KM walk was just what I needed. Sitting down feels deserved again and I can do it without feeling restless. Perfect. Now don’t get me wrong, the walk itself was boring, bland and felt a little redundant. All I came across was ugly industrial sights and most of the walking itself was done on cycling paths. Not ideal. But ah well, these redundant walks need to be done as well so that the fun ones are appreciated more. You know how that works, it’s a balancing act.

350 | Super simple

I put a new strap on my camera and now I want to pick it up and use it even more than before. Sometimes I laugh at my own one-dimensionality. So to honor that rekindled love, I need to take my camera out again. Tomorrow afternoon is a good moment for another walk. Which means that tomorrow morning, I’ll bring up the map, pick a direction and then when noon hits, i just start walking. Yes, of course, things can be that simple.

349 | Two more weeks

Just two more weeks to go man. I can barely believe it. While organizing my work, I was reading through all my daily entries up until now. Some of these things I would’ve never remembered if it wasn’t for this project. That’s both a positive and a negative at the same time but most of all, it’s an honest thing. Because while some of my thoughts and rants might have been delusional, misguided or a little jaded, they always were honest in that particular moment. That makes things worth it to remem

348 | 4 AM

It’s 4 in the morning and I’m tired. Yawning constantly with burning eyes that want to be closed but also unable to sleep. I tried simply laying there with my eyes closed — idling to the point where my body would have no choice but to sleep. My mind was not giving into that trick though and kept coming up with new thoughts. I realized I might still have to process the events from the past days. Not that anything particularly special has happened, I just sense that the processing you do in your d

347 | The drafts stole today's story

The story I wrote for today ended up in my drafts because it requires some more thought so this sentence will have to make due for today.

346 | Napping like a cat

I stayed in, did naps all day and I don’t even feel bad about it.

345 | Quick vibe check

Quick vibe check: how many of the goals I've set for this year have I accomplished? Let's bring up the list and results: Goal 1: Mailing list 500 subscribers Accomplished?: Not even close. I'm a little over 20 subscribers right now. Goal 2: Print on Demand sales 1000 euros per month. Accomplished?: No. I don't know what I was thinking when I wrote that. I guess I was trying to set some sort of horizon goal to aim for without the actual intention of reaching it. I've made a total of 70 euros

344 | Tomorrow, guys

I don't have the time nor energy to do it today but I plan to look at my goals of 2021 tomorrow and see how much of it has come true. My expectation is, not much but there will be stuff to ponder about because of it. Should be interesting.

343 | Saw one shot and caught a vibe

I saw a photo of a very peculiar looking man today, which caught my eye immediately. The photo is taken by Valentina Vos. Then I noticed the photo belonged to an article in the paper. The first paragraph of the article was included and somehow I started reading it. That interested me so much that I googled for the article to see if I could find it online so I could continue reading it. I found it rather quickly. At the end of the article, I learned that this interview, because that is what it w

342 | Too tired to pretend

I’m not sure if I’m too tired to care or too busy doing other stuff to pretend I do. This project is coming to an end soon and I’m already working on aggregating all my daily entries and restructuring them properly. This whole thing got a little messy during the past year and I think it deserves to be archived in an organized fashion. I’m not sure if I will keep all the entries from past year as separate blog posts on my website. Maybe I should, for posterity, but perhaps most entries only make

341 | A statement, for the hell of it

Am I not, a god on the camera? I seriously thought about leaving at that for today's entry but here I am typing this second sentence so anyway, let's continue. Just to be clear, I don't have any specific thoughts about the statement above. I just like the idea that it can be either a statement or a question, depending on how you choose to read it. Some people will take offense saying 'how can you claim something like that? Who do you think you are?'. Others will see it as a sign of doubt, weakn

340 | Reorganized my home office, again

Reorganized my home office, again. This time though, I sort of got it to a point where I can also do some work while standing up. Admittely, it does involve placing my keyboard on a little stand that makes the whole thing kind of awkward but you will hear no complains from me. At least I have the option now. Using the mouse requires me to bend over, not very ergonomic, but we'll find out soon how well I know my keyboard shortcuts. I also should not look behind me. Some stuff could not find a pl

339 | The Great Divide is not for me

You can not go on a protest to call for unity. Your protest is inherently pushing for the opposite. But what do I know? We are in the early stages of The Great Divide and there's not much we can do about it. We all like to engage in futile battles to extract some identity from. Just so we can have a sense of belonging and purpose. I rather just stick to my long walks and shooting my photos. If nobody cares to stop and smell the flowers anymore, then I will do nothing but exactly that.

338 | December 4th

December 4th. Jay-Z's birthday. I don't know why I know that but I just do. For some reason I think about it every years since gaining that knowledge. I do the same with other random birthdays as well. For example, there's this guy that I went to high school with that I got along with pretty well. We no longer speak since leaving high school, though we're still friendly when we run into each other somewhere. I still know his birthday is January 16th. I don't need to remember that, it's not like

337 | The things I do for my craft

The wind was blowing so hard, drops from the water reached all the way up to the few uncovered parts of my face. Though it might’ve been a light rain as well. It’s December in the Netherlands alright and I cursed myself for not wearing any gloves. Instead, my hands were firmly tucked away in the deep pockets of my puffer jacket. My camera slung across my body, hiding in the safe space between my right arm and my torso. You can call me many things but at least one of them has to be a promise-kee

336 | Verbs, verbing, verbalizing

Finishing the image licensing page. For now. Looking at the changing colours in the sky. Further tagging and categorising the photos in my online archive. Staring in the distance and thinking about nothing. Feeling the need to pee but ignoring it for just a little longer. Drafting up some cover ideas for the Monologue book. Looking at potential costs and possible dimensions for the book on the Blurb website. Realising this is going to be a hella expensive book. Still worth it though. That's a ye

335 | Working out image licensing

I’ve been planning to setup a proper structure to license my images to companies, brands and anybody else who cares. Today I came up with a first version of the information page, while also enhancing the navigation of my archive website. I thought it’d be fun to share the text of the info page here as well for future reference. I assume things will change (hopefully for the better) a lot and it’s always good to look back and see where you came from. So here it goes: Need images for your websit

334 | The pandemic is a big distraction of our real issues and we're all too dumb to notice

Rainy day. Sad, rainy day. One of those days that serve as a reminder you are living on the top half of the globe, where daylight sometimes has no power. A day on which, despite my best efforts, not even I was crazy enough to go our for a walk. No outdoor activities for me today. Instead, it's way easier and more comfortable to lose yourself in all the different media and technologies we have. Though be careful not to look too long at any of the news platforms. It seems like there is no positiv

333 | Mondays are for working

Mondays are for working. Office working. Not the most inspirational of tasks, but definitely a necessary one. Also not one I dislike. Not at all. But definitely one that makes me tired. So Mondays also the days where I feel mentally drained and motivated to work at the same time. Anxiously trying to get something done for myself is usually done in vain. It's better to simply sit back, unwind and get back at it again tomorrow. Which is exactly my plan for the next few hours until it's bed time.

332 | Sore legs and few steps

The effects of yesterday’s walk are strongly present in my legs. Therefore it won’t come as a surprise that I haven’t walked much today. There are only so many steps you can take indoors anyway. Totally fine, because now I’m sure there will be many more days of walking to come.

331 | Finishing up business in the north

I admit, I felt like a mad man when I looked out the window this morning. At the same time, I haven't let that stop me before — why would today be the first time? Sure, there was water pouring out of the sky, perhaps intermingled with the tiniest hints of snow (and I'm not exaggerating to prove a point). Despite that, I still went out. Of course I went out! All the way up north to a place they call Bunschoten-Spakenburg. Situated on the water's edge of het Nijkerkernauw, Bunschoten-Spakenburg i

330 | Facts to a fool

Presenting facts to a fool will not change a fool’s mind because a fool is not interested in the truth, a fool is only interested in finding something, anything, to believe in.

329 | It’s 3 am and I keep tossing and turning

It’s 3 am and I keep tossing and turning. Can’t seem to fall into a deep sleep. Vivid dreams flashing through my head. Shards of experiences I have had through the day on repeat. I can’t figure out why. And then it hits me. I forgot to hit send on my Monologue yesterday. Well, I guess this still counts as I will now try to continue my dreams. It might be past midnight but only now is my day fully completed. Hopefully my dreams will calm down now that I’ve completed my tasks.

328 | It was very necessary

It is very necessary. Especially after the way I have been pumping myself up all morning. Will I take a bus all the way up to Spakenburg and then walk back home — essentially completing the northern half of the Grebbeline? Nah, that's an almost 25km walk. Too much for a quick afternoon stroll so I should save that for when I have a full day. Perhaps I then take a bus down to Scherpenzeel and walk another section of the southern half of the Grebbeline. Though that would require me to be at the

327 | We all secretly want to be cats, don't we?

The way this cat is laying down all relaxed right now, I wish I was a cat. But I think most of us has had that wish before, haven’t we? It’s one of the most universal wishes I’ve heard in my almost 30 years wandering around on this planet. This guy just walks up to any place, at any time of the day, and lays down in an immediate state of ultimate relaxation. I can’t understand how he does it. And if you move him? Doesn’t matter. He just repositions and is comfortable again within no time. I wis

326 | Mentally closing the year prematurely

To be honest, I'm already working my way towards closing the year. It's strange, because 2021 has passed by so quickly, I can hardly believe it's already the end of November. At the same time, I'm not unhappy the year is almost over. A small reason for that is that I am ready to focus on other things than these Monologues. There is no other reason. Ha! I'm already subconsciously going over the lessons I've learned this year. Trying to figure out what these Monologues have brought me. I can thin

325 | The Morning

The Weeknd - The Morning, on repeat in my head. Though, despite the hedonistic theme of the song, my Sunday consisted of day time naps and afternoon drinks and bites. What else could I have asked for?

324 | The spirit of winter

Winter is not officially here but its spirits are certainly felt already. The changes in light immediately draw me back to black and white photos. I feel like it can be a waste to loose the extra layer of information color can hold during summer, so I can’t bring myself to black and white photography as much at those times. In winter though, the whole world looses its color for the most part and a colorless shot can underline that reality so well. When even the trees decide to present themselve

323 | Sleep better to walk faster

A mere 4800 steps today. Far less than past week’s average. It’s fine. Let me get some rest tonight and I’ll try my best to make it up tomorrow. Sleep well. Sleep tight.

322 | Hello kids and people older than that

Hello kids and people older than that. I’m happy to report I have not walked strenuous amounts today. My legs are already very noticeably displaying their presence by presenting me with a constant feeling of soreness. Not the type that inhibits you from walking but certainly enough to remind me of the almost 30km I’ve walked the past few days. Good to know the walking is doing something. I also didn’t sit down behind the computer all day instead. Which is my default behaviour when I’m not outs

321 | Poetic justice and angry feet

Don’t you think it’s poetic that the wrapper or the roll of bin bags is the first item to be discarded? Reduced to the contents of the object is was so carefully protecting from unraveling. Maybe that’s just me. In other news, I walked 11KM again today and my feet are really starting to hurt. You will not find me walking this distance again tomorrow. Maybe I’ll cycle. Maybe I will just read a book for once. I guess we’ll find out tomorrow.

320 | All or nothing

Okay I gotta be honest, it's always either all or nothing with me. Just two days ago I shared my plan of doing one week of boring computer stuff and than the other week of going out and experiencing stuff. Well, today I did went out again (as promised) but I immediately ended up walking a solid 11,5 KM, like that's a normal thing to do. I mean, sure it's good to be out there but am I not overdoing it right away? I just might be. Though we'll know for sure when I wake up with a crippling pain in

319 | Those moments of twilight never last long enough

As promised, I would be back to report on my week of doing stuff. So here I am: reporting. Sadly, the Mondays are set aside for a full day of office work (I still have a job) so it was well past daylight when I had the first moment to myself. Luckily, the weather is kind enough to us on this November 15th, so I made sure I was warmly dressed and, after a quick bite, headed out again. I wasn't entirely sure what my plan was when I set foot outside so for a moment I dwelled around the vicinity of

318 | I have a new plan!

New plan! I have a new plan! I’m not sure I will actually pull through but I like the idea so here it goes. How about… how shall I say this… splitting my time into two parts for a while. One part where I focus on doing computer stuff and one part where I focus on going out and making real life stuff. I have so much trouble planning my time properly to allow for outside adventures. It’s not uncommon that I end up finding something to do on the computer and just default to that instead. Such a wa

317 | Who can you bet on if not yourself

Who can you bet on if not yourself? That’s the main thought going through my mind the past few months. I have yet to find a reason to believe this growing feeling is unjustified. If anything, this seems to become an increasingly better strategy to move forward.

316 | I’m feeling fine

I’m feeling fine. I’m functioning fine. Everything is just fine. But if I look real close and I mean real close at what I’m truly feeling, than it’s currently: Tired Angry (sometimes confused with sadness) Excited Satisfied

315 | A logo update

If you don’t count the final touches I did on the logo for De Ontluiking I did this afternoon, nothing much happened today. If you do see that as being substantial enough to write about, then I would tell you that I’m proud and satisfied of and with the results. If you then tell me I constructed those sentences way more complex than they need to be, I’d tell you it might be better to just take a quick glance at the updated logo below and move on with your life. I will then do the same.

314 | Anything for mental clarity

My mind is overflowing so I hope you don't mind me venting a little1. Meetings aren't supposed to be at 8PM anyway. Sometimes we do whatever is necessary though and this meeting was necessary. It's so easy to loose track of what you're doing and whatever progress you are making. Until you talk about it. Then it all suddenly makes sense again. So this meeting was necessary for exactly that reason — mental clarity is a beautiful thing. I'll do anything for it. Even if that means I'm hyped and o

313 | Whoops, almost made a mistake

Whoops, I was already nodding off on the couch with my YouTube video but then I realised there have not been any writing of words today yet. Luckily, the computer was still within an arm's length of myself so here I am typing away some random sentences. I hope you can appreciate that I at least keep the effort up to do this everyday. Other than that, there isn't much to share again today. I tinkered with my website redesign a little, which is starting to take shape now. I then noticed I have a

312 | As a now proud owner of an Apple Watch I have noticed a trend

As a now proud owner of an Apple Watch (let me finish, this won't get technical! Promised.) I have noticed a trend slowly starting to develop itself. This evening was one of the most extreme examples recorded of this developing trend so far. Just as I rode my bike up to my home, I glanced over at the Watch's screen and noticed I was on 86% of my, admittedly already modest, Movement goal. Usually, I wouldn't have thought twice about this and just parked my bike to prepare myself for winding down

311 | I'm not breaking my streak

I’m so lazy and tired today I even considered breaking my streak of daily writing. But I won’t. The streak continues.

310 | Zooming. Zoning

The trees are passing by rapidly as the sun slowly sets behind them. I’m simply staring out the window, trying to drown in the tunes that are playing through my headphones. I’m intermittently closing my eyes to combat the burning sensation. I should’ve put my glasses on instead of opting for contacts this morning. That’s my mistake for thinking my eye-infection was over. No worries though, the next thirty minutes are guaranteed shut-eye. This train will carry me aaaallll the way home.

309 | Write like a camera

Mindlessly scrolling around the internet in the little time I had today, I learned something. A thing that is good to remember as an idea to be expanded on. That thing being to ‘write like a camera’. I’m not entirely sure what it can mean, though I have an idea, but that sentences resonated with me a lot. For reasons I hope are obvious enough I hopefully needn’t clarify.

308 | Candles and fondue

Can’t talk because tonight is all about the cheese fondue Charlotte is cooking up right now! Our first in years and my first home cooked one, I think. Super exciting stuff this is! So let’s cover the house in candle light for ultimate coziness and one functional light to keep the fondue warm while we indulge. A steaming pot of creamy cheese, some bread and veggies to dip, a good glass of red wine. Oooeehhh what more do you need? The darker days aren’t so bad when there’s this much light inside.

307 | Guess what?

Guess what? Never mind, you’ll never guess it. Chapter three of ‘De Ontluiking’ is online! Ah maybe you could’ve guessed that one. In the meantime, the government is slowest reinstating past restrictions. Despite our hopes we might not be out of this pandemic thing yet. We’ll continue the documentations regardless though. Anyway, placing the third chapter online is also the single biggest task I’ve completed today, so there is nothing else to share. Oh no, wait! Today is also the day the cats

306 | I write better in the mornings and I read better at night

Here's a thought: I write better in the mornings and I read better at night. The reason for that, is that my mind in the morning is still unscattered from the hectics of a day. In the morning, I'm still zoned into my own thoughts and ideas and have not been polluted yet with external influences. This ultimately helps me better structure my thoughts, which leads to better writing. At night, I'm mostly tired and worn down by the day and have experienced too many different things to still focus on

305 | Daylight saving myself from the noise

It's a little past 10 PM and everybody is giving into their sleepiness. Darkness sets in at around half past five now that daylight saving time is back for the next few months and our natural melatonine adjusts accordingly. Everybody is slowly sinking into hibernation. Everybody except for one little four-legger. This tiny animal thought it a good idea to loudly start playing with his toys when we could all use some quiet. Who can blame him though, as he's not concerned with conventional schedu

304 | Woke up tiiiired

Do you know those days where your mind is just blank? Nothing in particular happening in there? Good. Me too.

303 | The new computer is treating me nicely

The new computer is treating me nicely. I had a shoot in the studio today (I can't really call it work, as it was with/for friends but it's also not necessarily free work for myself) and I felt excited to sit down for the edit. That has been a while. In fact, the last time that happened was when I got my previous MacBook, which was my first. Back then, I was still shooting the ol' Fujifilm X-T1 that had way smaller files though. The X-Pro3 and X100V produce some hefty files, even when shooting c

302 | Sitting by the door

This man was sitting by the door aaaaalll day. Literally, the delivery could come between 9AM and 9PM so I stayed in until the package came. Which was at 8AM. Of course it was. Anyway, I bought a new MacBook right after the new one's dropped and ever since I've been looking forward to this moment. Not that this new machine would be revolutionary for anything I do but I just couldn't wait to give my workflow a significant performance boost. And oh boy it certainly boosts. This story is, of cours

301 | Day 302 reflections

Okay it’s getting late and I need to put my words in for the day. Man, can you believe it has been over 300 days of writing already? That’s right, today is day number 302 (to be clear, I'm counting from December 31st, which was day 000)! I didn’t miss the moment I hit day number 300 but I also didn’t feel the need to reflect at that time. To be honest, and I know I have said this before, I don’t know what I still want to share in these Monologues anymore. At this point, I feel like I either star

300 | My god, can you believe it?

My god, can you believe it? I have turned into a coder. You know, like, a developer type kind or something. Sure, I’m a real bad one because I have to google everything and I have to save and check, save and check, save and check, to see if I haven’t done anything wrong. But stumbling through all that trial and error, who would’ve guessed it, something is actually emerging. To be frank, I’m still not sure if I like doing all this stuff or if I just like the idea of doing something so… pure? I m

299 | Goodbye Wordpress, you have been wonderful

Today I’ve decided to leave Wordpress for Ghost. After playing around with the idea for a bit, tempted by the incredible speed and performance the Ghost platform offers, I have started moving over all the content on my current website to the new one. It’s no small task and I am trying to get it done as quickly as possible. After all, each day I wait produces an additional Monologue that needs transferring. In addition, I do have some challenges to overcome regarding my e-commerce solution but I

298 | Little wussy

I can barely move because both of the cats are snuggling up against me and they’re the cutest little things right now. I’m pretty sure one of them is sleeping as well and I don’t want to wake him. Not completely unrelated, typing this is super uncomfortable. The things I do for a 365 project, right? I’m kidding, I am totally doing this for the cats. I’m such a wuss.

297 | Looking around for inspiration

Browsing for inspiration. Screenshotting anything of interest. Tiny iterations slowly adding up to a larger whole. Doing everything yourself takes so much time. Much more than any specialist would need. But it can’t be any other way. It’s only through these tiny but constant iterations that you learn and grow. How could you ever say no to that?

296 | Weather doubts

In about ten minutes I need to be outside, riding my bike to meet up with friends. I’m still unsure on what to wear. This time of year is so difficult to dress yourself properly. Some of the times, you get it exactly right. Other times, you are either way too hot or way too cold. I’m in a T-shirt now and I do need some layering. But will that be a sweater or a shirt? Outside will be pretty cold but I’ll be indoors for most of the evening. Will I then wear my warmer coat or my waterproof one? Wh

295 | Zoning out

My own hands floating in the air in front of me. Slowly making imaginary shapes on the melodies of the song that’s on repeat. Flat on my back with my sweatshirt only partly on. Couldn’t be bothered to finish the task of putting it on. It doesn’t matter what your question is right now, the answer is no. It’s full-blown meditation. The repetitive sounds of the piano chords intertwined with preachy words. Just how I like it.I might fall asleep before I see a chance to finish this story. That the s

294 | Frameworks, am I right?

Frameworks, am I right? So enabling once you have one that you’re satisfied with. The past few years (yes, years!), have turned out to be a search for proper frameworks. Structures that allow for seamless creation and sharing. Two things I have learned to be very important for my mental and physical well-being. A proper framework gives you direction and guidance when you need it while mostly staying out of the way. It needs to be frictionless at all times. Knowing this, I’ve been going back and

293 | A sense of accomplishment would be nice

Eeeeeendleeeessss tinkering. Finishing nothing. It’s one of those days again. It’s okay, it’s okay. Things will all find their place eventually. The day they don’t has yet to happen. Still I find these days unpleasant in that they leave me with an uneasy feeling of restlessness. The lack of accomplishments is messing with my physiological wellbeing. The best remedy is to let things rest and pick them back up later. Perhaps even tomorrow. Anything but right now is fine. I know this but rarely li

292 | The books on the shelf

The books on the shelf, will I ever read them? I pick one up and flick through the pages. I start reading somewhere in the middle of a paragraph. It’s an interesting story but it doesn’t make much sense. I should start reading from the beginning. Like a normal person. I flick back until I reach the first words on the first page. Only to close the book again. I pick up another book. A gorgeous, high-quality object. Touching the paper is a joy in itself. The images have a very fine but noticeable

291 | I'm all here for it

The fall is here and so am I: all here for it. Sure, going on walks will be a little more challenging. We’ll need to plan a little around the heavy downpours. Though bad weather does make for great photos at times as well. Which is to say: I’m mostly happy about returning to black and white imagery again. Those work fine in sunny times too, of course they do, but they shine especially on those grey, grim days. Or maybe, and this might be even more true, color photos don’t work as nicely on tho

290 | Coffee and vintage Drake to maintain the vibes

A last cup of coffee, vintage Drake playing from the Sonos Beam and a final brush through my ever-growing hair. Yesterday was a day full of hype and energy, which means I’m all out for today. Except for this one tiny bit I reserved for tonight. My first time in Carré, my first time seeing Nick Cave live. The first time I’m seeing a concert post-pandemic. The sun shines, so let’s grab a pair of shades and get myself back to the capital city. This is exactly my type of vibe.

289 | Exciting times

Coming to you from the morning of a big shoot day, I’m writing to you now because experience tells me it won’t be possible later today. Have you read the stories I’ve written while in a busy environment? You probably can pick them out of a line. That’s not to say this particular entry will be any better. In fact, the day has barely started so what is there for me to talk about? All I can say right now is: I’m excited to head out. I’m excited to point my camera at something significant. I’m exci

288 | Phone on silent please

Nah man my phone doesn’t ring anymore. Everything straight to voicemail. All messages captured by Do Not Disturb before my eyes see them. The only thing my phone is constantly pinging are the GPS satellites that track my walk. What else? Not much. It was just me and the trail today.

287 | I’m not feeling it today and I'm happy I don't

I’m not feeling it today. I’m not in a productive mood at all. Or, I should say, not in the mood to create. That’s the same thing, isn’t it? Anyway, that’s not to say this is a bad thing. On the contrary! I noticed I felt great joy pushing everything on my to do list to a later time. I have the time, why not use it? Lessons I’m learning as I go. It certainly beats my usual tendency of doing everything I possibly can today in the hopes that I can relax tomorrow but then finding more stuff to do

286 | Monologue, more like, public diary, amirite?

This thing has been turning more and more into a public diary hasn’t it? Yeah, I noticed it too. It’s no biggie though, I just focus my energy on crafting better sentences, while structuring them in a more cohesive way. There were never many readers for these Monologues to begin with and I understand if those last few now dropped off too. It’s fine, it’s fine, I won’t take it personal. In other news, I have said no to three(!) job-offerings this week! Two of them on today only. I’m so proud. My

285 | Much better

Much better! Today was much better! Though filled to the brim, a fine day it was. Did I mention today was a good day? I’ve taken a photo to illustrate my point. I know it doesn’t look like fun but these Post-its are probably the best thing I’ve done today. Okay I’m all out of words. Enjoy this top-down shot!

284 | Sigh

Sigh. Today wasn’t much better than yesterday. There were no additional falls and no more cuts in fingers (knock on wood)but I didn’t feel like myself either. A small but ever-present headache and sore muscles prevented me from properly focusing. Without going into too much detail, adding this to some already present physical complaints, I finally relented and called the doctor’s office. It’s time to get these things fixed professionally. None of my issues are serious but all of them are uncomf

283 | One of those days, I guess?

Last client shoot today! Exciting. The sun shines lovely warm bright rays. Lovely. A bike ride home after the shoot. Relaxing. I make a mistake when driving up to my house and smack my head into the concrete. Startling! I’m ashamed and want to get up immediately but I’m seeing stars. Worrying… After collecting myself, Charlotte patches me up again. Sweet. I quietly retreat to the smalles and safest corner of the house. Defeated. I cook dinner and cut my finger. Unfortunate. It’s just the nail so

282 | Listening only today

Oh shit. It’s evening already? Time moves fast when you hang around the house doing nothing. Thankfully, I’m out at a friend’s exhibition putting my purchases in. That’s stuff’ll wake you right up. Find me in a corner by the fire with my cap low and my hoodie on. I’m a listener today.

281 | Not enough time in a day

Not enough time in a day. Not in this day. Or rather, just enough time in a day. Though not enough to write this story. Which can mean a multitude of things: I either slack and don’t write anything (not an option), or I write some meta-level story about how there is not enough time in a day. This day specifically. I think I’ll choose that a second option. Which, I guess, means there is just enough time in a day.

280 | One of the last ones this year

A foggy morning foreshadows a sunny day. The cold October air tickles my face and leaves a refreshing feeling in my nose. I take a deep breath and fill my lungs with the cold fall-like air. This is Holland. This is where I spend my days. The contractor is steadily hammering away on our roof. Sawing and hammering. Until he comes down to report on his work. Let’s hope that leakage is finally fixed once and for all now. We’ll need it the coming months. The wettest months of the year. Especially he

279 | Another one! Another one!

Another one! Another one! Chapter two of The Efflorescence (De Ontluiking) is now online! Don’t have time to elaborate, so much stuff to do! Gotta go, bye!

278 | Deep work and progress

Hello from the other side of an afternoon of deep work. As much as I love being out creating new things, sometimes you need to sit down and process that work as well. Today was one of those days. Lord know things have been the other way around so I feel very blessed! De Ontluiking will continue very soon. The words have been written and the photos have now been processed. And, exciting news, a video is also in the works. We’ll see how that all comes together when we move this thing to its own w

277 | Facebook is down. Good

I’m not saying I’m happy Facebook and it’s related services are down. What I will say though, is that I’m happy I have this little website for myself. A place to display my work to the world without the dependence on third parties. I’m happy I have an email newsletter that’s obviously very small and has nowhere near the reach you can get on any of these platforms but at least the audience is mine. Anyway, regardless of what happens to Facebook and Co. tomorrow, I’ll be sticking to own plan. That

276 | The last Sunday

Before it’s too late and it’s past 12 already (ergo, the next day). I’m working on De Ontluiking but I’m also just enjoying the last Sunday of my vacation. Full steam ahead on another day.

275 | Return to (normal) life

Mis amigos, estamos en la casa! And I’m not even mad about it. This does of course mean that my short stint of ‘A (few) word(s) a day’ updates is now also over. Back to writing full-length, 200 word stories again.1 First order of business, import all the images from the past 12 days into Lightroom, while at the same time backing everything up to Backblaze [https://secure.backblaze.com/r/00xb82] (that’s a referral link). While that happens, admire Craig Mod’s Kissa by Kissa book [https://shop.sp

274 | A (few) word(s) a day #12

Infinite travel. Home.

273 | A (few) word(s) a day #11

Souvenirs, long strolls on the beach, final tapas, mental goodbyes.

272 | A (few) word(s) a day #10

I’m on the beach, beeaaaach.

271 | A (few) word(s) a day #09

Final stop! It’s not home but it feels like it. Tarifa, I love you already.

270 | A (few) word(s) a day #08

Plants everywhere in these white streets.

269 | A (few) word(s) a day #07

Public transport fiasco

268 | A (few) word(s) a day #06

Sun-kissed

267 | A (few) word(s) a day #05

Itinerary-switch (and that’s totally fine).

266 | A (few) word(s) a day #04

Exploration